Two.:.Four.:.Six

31st Jan marks my 3rd month and if nothing goes wrong, my probation period is officially over! It has not been easy. Late nights. Even on Christmas' & New Year's Eves. Adjusting to new role with limited guidance. Facing unreasonable clients. Racing with time. Working with a weirdo aka stalker. Juggling with work & personal issues. Super multi-tasking. But I survive. And I'm thankful it came at the right time. Sometimes, things just work out naturally isn't it? *I don't want to be a substitute. I am just me...

I like it. I've done my Maths - 8 more to catch up with her.

Don't tell me you like me because if someone could tell me he loves me yet is nowhere in sight today, liking me doesn't mean anything.

To look back but I didn't. Because there used to be someone watching my back but not anymore. And I don't want to disappoint myself yet again... It's alright. Just keep walking :)

I'm missing you already... The song, Through The Years, has been stuck in my head since then. Beautiful. Take care of yourself :)

It's probably a once in a lifetime experience so no matter how bad my memory is, I will remember today. Damn high now!

Gonna eat grass till next pay cheque.

A good liar is able to convince everyone he or she is speaking the truth. And a bad one is of course otherwise. Whether you are good or bad, there will always be at least one person who knows the truth & lie. And that one person is you, yourself. Isn't it pathetic that you can't be true to yourself? Somehow, I think you can't handle this. And I'm glad it isn't me. I may be wrong but it doesn't matter... At least not as much as before. So we'll move on from here. Separately...

First gathering of the year but this GOOD friend of ours decided to give it a miss because of, her boyfriend. Well, I shall not say it's who... Anyway, the meet up was rather different from previous ones. We settled our meal at the foodcourt. We went Spotlight and entertained ourselves with the "props". And it gave us ideas for next Halloween. We ended with a drink and each continued with her own date. Shiny cowgirl. Girly cowgirl. Friendly pirate. SX found a new toy. Scanned to see how much i'm worth. You sux! Now, we know who's the missing one... *** First time to Dempsey. First "date". *** Shall blog soon about the wedding of the year. Over 200 pictures of beautiful people.

How do I know? I just do. Have I not tried? I did. I stretched out my hand, waiting for yours so that we can do this together. It always takes two hands to clap isn't it? I waited and waited... I thought I saw you stretch out yours but each time, you pulled it back and it didn't hold mine eventually. And so I learnt my lesson and took back mine too. After all, it's meant for that someone who's willing to not only hold it but to also not let go. I guess I have never meant much. So do your words and actions now. And so do you.

New Project: Half a Million Ride: "New" Look: 3rd cut and I'm getting a little bored. "Overdue outfit" Bought the pants a few years back but worn for the first time a few days ago. Top bought last month I think. It's the topshop uniform. Pampering myself with what else?: River Island. Warehouse. How to save enough for the Perth trip? Friend just told me ticket has gone up by around $200. Perhaps my mum will sponsor a little if I promise her a new bf when I'm back? Off to sleep now. Got myself drunk yesterday and have been feeling terrible since. I hate alcohol. Yes, I never learn my lesson.

If the opposite of love is hate and we do not hate each other now, does that mean we have not loved? We'll just continue to move further away from each other and we'll get used to the distance...

I've became the detestable kind of asked-for-advice-yet-do-otherwise person. I know, I don't like that too. I shouldn't be asking for advices. I'm asking for more time. Patience. And understanding. Pls bear with me, will you? First week of the year has been busy. Sorting out work issues. Emotional issues. Meeting friends. New found friends. Accepting current state and thinking of what & where next. It may be some kind of a mid-twenties "crisis" but whatever it is, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed. Everything's gonna be alright...

In this brand new year, I want to be more serious with and committed to the things I do. Less excuses for myself (and others) and fulfil more of the promises I made to myself & others. Happy New Year! Thank you for being here with me.