Two.:.Four.:.Six

You know how you have someone who plan to do this and that with you, only to have that same someone tell you, sorry, it's over, we do not have to follow my, your and our plans anymore. So, screw the plans! Why lure people to your trap and then let them go when they have already fallen too deep into it? I hate you!

Sometimes I would love to take a break. But I can only tell myself to keep running. Reminding myself the finishing line is out there somewhere. And that I just gotta keep going until I see it. This morning, I was trying to recall which day this week my friend is back and I received his "hey, I'm back sms" just now. It's good to have him back. I don't see why there can't be platonic friendship. I wish there's someone who can take me somewhere....

Is always too short. Half of Sunday is gone and I have yet to start on my work. Yesterday was well-spent, as always. Did a little shopping (ha, what's new?), Manicure & Pedicure And had some good food. Which mostly, I didn't get to enjoy. But they promised me another day so I'll wait. Although BUDDY threatened to confiscate our souvenirs, we know she was just kidding. More pouches for me. And I also have more fridge magnets. My favourite although it looks a little freaky. The complete set. I want to travel too! Looking at my bank account, perhaps Sentosa is the best I can offer myself. *** Fishes have a memory span of 5 secs. Would you want that? You can forget the bad ones but you won't remember the good ones too. Would you want that?

I never thought I'd be sitting there saying those things. How does it feel to be the other woman or man? I was shocked. Disappointed. Angry. I guess the truth is always more difficult to accept when you least expected it. Why & how did it turn out this way? I've watched so much TV yet didn't realise some episodes are for real. I don't have to watch the last episode to know what's the ending like. Good luck. What will you do if you realise you're pregnant after you end a relationship/marriage? Will you a) be a single mum b) try to work things out with your ex bf/husband for the sake of the baby c) abort the baby and keep mum about the matter I'll most likely go for (c). There's no right or wrong option isn't it?

Today is another one of those days. That I feel like quitting. That makes me wonder how I'm gonna survive through. I did anyway. Tues' outfit. Decided to dress down and a client asked to meet up. How lucky could I get? My 1st (small) project and it went well. Wed's outfit. Had a meeting and gosh, the client is gorgeous. It's been a busy & stressful week so decided to have a break... Which led to a very tired me today I'm so glad it's over and Friday is here soon!

In the office... I received a sms yesterday night. One which would get me excited if it was sent a few years back. If you give me a rotten apple, I'd rather go hungry.

Now I know why HS always work late. She always claims she's busy but this afternoon, she had the time to blog about our MSN conversation and mind you, it wasn't just a small bit. It was a big chunk. Enough to make Ms. I'm-back-from-Japan Heng jealous and threaten to confiscate our souvenirs. Come on, you should have sensed something when we wore the couple outfit. Yes, I am the third party but nope, I'm neither guilty nor ashamed. So, can we still have our souvenirs? *** My I-suspect-she's-my-potential-stalker colleague is really getting on my nerves. She doesn't fit into the topic - Friends I Have, but because of her, it led to a I-thought-it's-quite-funny MSN conversation. (Ya la, I work late cos I MSN a lot) Also, in case one day I go missing or something, pls point out the biggest suspect and make work easier for the police. My daily MSN partner: I think she's undressing you mentally... Me: I feel so naked. * * * My daily MSN partner: so how? are you...

I didn't run after or with the kids - we left it to the 2 domestic helpers. But I left the kiddo at the escalator and went down alone, with all of us in shock. Warning: Don't trust me with your kids. Although I was tired and more so after that 4hrs, it was an enjoyable evening. Because I expected lots of movements when out with the troop, I allowed myself no skirt & low-cut. And because I was early, I went to 'see see look look'. Couldn't resist to just see & not buy and so... Couldn't decide on the color & size too. I think I spent a long time in the fitting room, trying the 2pcs over & over again. No prize for guessing which one I bought in the end. Ms. Grumpy Ms. alright-I'll-flash-a-little-smile Ms. Cool Finally... Applaud for me cos I'm standing on my own. I suspect she wanna be a wayang singer when she grows up. I hope to be like this a few years from now. Find me a man quick! haha... Ms. Grumpy went shopping too and she likes it. M...

2 more hrs becomes 4 and still counting! I gotta leave by 4pm no matter what. To collect my dress and meet the troop at 5pm. Why can't I just follow my plan? Does the problem lie with me or the people around me? Anyway, I threw some of the work back because wherever the problem lies, I am the only person to save myself, no? Still gotta work from home tomorrow. Argh...

having my hair bunned up or in a ponytail. I'm getting bored with short hair. Especially when there are so many girls with similar hairstyle. Long hair it shall be after Jan. *** Me: I feel like trying for... T: Why don't you just try and not think about the what ifs? Alright, I will when the time comes. The last I checked with my mum, she wasn't very keen on me trying. But like I always tell my friends while shopping, trying is free, just go la! *** My working desk is damn small. Doesn't help that I'm very clumsy and tend to bump into this and that. I better make sure I'm insured for office injuries. My friend suggested stacking the document, files & folders as high as I can, until they can't see me anymore. I may do just that. Working on Saturdays is a chore. 2 more hrs to go... I can barely open my one big one small eyes since morning. And so, I've given up the thought of having a 'night life' tonight. Just let me last till 9pm. I think I ...

I was almost skipping to the bus stop this morning. Perhaps it has gotta do with me having sorted out my thoughts. Or that it's finally friday, never mind that I have to work on Sat, which is already here while I'm typing. It's a kind of relief. Like someone has taken away the load on me and I could 'skip' once again. Not feeling much is a good feeling actually. This friday is certainly better than the last. Even though I was back at the same place & met up with the same people within a week, it's just not the same. And the difference isn't any worse. Tough times, really don't last. The guys commented I lost weight the minute they saw me. It must be true I guess. Although I'm not quite sure after the sandwich & the wedges. Keep smiling people. I think I'm doing pretty well :) Have a great weekend!

I wonder which will I get tired of first - trying to wear a different outfit everyday (for as long as I can) or taking picture & blogging about it everyday. I know I have a dirty mirror.

It's true that in our parents' eyes, we never grow up. It's not about how many candles we have on our cake this year or how tall and big we've grown. To them, we are always their little children. And as we grow older, declaring freedom, rejecting their protection, thinking that we are responsible enough to take care of ourselves and know what's best for us, let's not forget that they will never stop worrying. People always say, "You are not me, you won't know..." But some people also say that 'mothers know best'. Alright, these people are mostly mothers themselves. So, when they don't speak, it doesn't mean they don't know and don't care. They just speak with their hearts & eyes. Don't pretend she doesn't know and it doesn't hurt because you kept the truth from her. Don't say it doesn't matter and tell her not to probe because she can never just leave you alone. We may not be able to provide the best ...

Time seems to crawl... Can't wait for the weekend to come. I hate rainy mornings since I no longer enjoy free rides to work. It was a cold morning and I certainly didn't go out like this: Put my meant-for-Aussie-trip jacket to good use. But I looked like an idiot by noon when the rain was gone and the sun was out. This Wednesday is so different from the last. And since that day, everything else become different too. I won't be there anymore... Today I have 2 persons telling me I'm skinny. It's good enough to have people telling me I've lost weight but skinny? Long way to go mann. I've been eating. Even if I'm not, my mum is feeding me - hokkien mee & roasted chestnuts for supper and Polar cakes for breakfast. Soon, you may just see the pounds back on me. I must maintain! Now, tell me how can I remove the eyebags? My one big one small and a little crossed eyes are getting very obvious. U.G.L.Y

Kicking away a habit is not easy. Especially when your mind keeps telling you you can't do it. And then I start to question myself, why am I doing what I'm doing? I certainly know why. I just need to remind myself it's only right (to do so). Met 2 pretty clients this afternoon and my inferiority sets in again. That's another 'bad habit' of mine. Other random stuffs: An ex-colleague told me over MSN that he has someone to introduce to me. He has a gut feeling this guy is very suitable for me. Ha, we'll see. I'm not very comfortable with matchmaking sessions plus it has proven way too often that situations like this don't always work for me. I was just losing interest in the cute guy at work (because he's way too quiet) when we had a little chat just now. But I have a feeling he's gay. Pls let me be wrong. I found another lunch and perhaps dinner khakis when I realised my never-fail-to-tickle-me friend's office is near mine. Great! Another ...

I don't know about them but I let go because I do not want to be hurt anymore.

I want to see how long I can last before I wear the same outfit to work (jeans & denim skirts not counted). My record was 1 month according to a friend. Day 1: Pardon the tired face. It was 830pm and I haven't had dinner. *** I remember when I was 12, almost everyone was passing around his or her autograph book. For memory sake and mostly, the fun of it. I still have mine and will read it to have a good laugh at times. I laugh because of the silly things we wrote and one of which is who our best friends and enemies were. Best friends - firstly, when you use the word BEST, there should only be one so how did we come up with so many names? Secondly, how many of us still keep in touch with our then so-called buddies? Enemies - ha, how did such a strong word come to our little minds? What did other people do to us to have us regard them as our enemies? I never really had enemies. Even if I did write a name or two, I'm sure I didn't hate those people. It was just dislike. An...

At the mahjong table this afternoon, my friend's friend's dad asked us if we know that today - 11th November (1111) is a day for the singles. Ouch. I lost $5.50 and spent another $10 cabbing home. Double Ouch. But it's my parents' 25th anniversary. Sweet. And my friend gave up washing his car so as to pick me up. Double sweet. *** Yesterday was well-spent. In terms of time & money. *** After 3 years, I'm single again. Have to get used to it. Must remember what my cousin told me - No matter how bad a position you are in, there's always someone who's willing to exchange his or hers with yours

And if it's not enough to tell me it's over, perhaps having my eyeliner, contact lense solution & make-up remover all giving up on me on the same day, says something.

Letting go hurts. But not doing so hurts even more. If I need someone to screw up my life, why should it be you? And why do I even need to have my life screwed up in the first place? Everyone deserves happiness. If it doesn't come from you, then goodbye. I deserve better. After so much 'ding-dongs' here and there, it's just back to square one so fuck it, I'm moving out of this stupid square! There's no in-between in this case. It's either this or that. Don't worry people. I can really do it this time. With your support & love of course. Tough times don't last but tough people do. Thank you for waking me up.

It's only when I work very hard that I know how to appreciate play even more. I knocked off at 9pm yesterday and the minute I stepped out of the office, I told myself, don't think about work, enjoy yourself. Indeed, it was an interesting night. And I believe the date with Ah-mei this evening will be good too! *** Some words, when said at the right time, made a hell lot of difference. It was good...Really. We'll see how it goes :)

When I like a particular song, I have it on repeat mode and stop listening to it totally when I get sick of it. I'm selective when it comes to food so I'm loyal to my limited favourites. For example, fruits to me are like coffee to some people - we can't live without them. And french fries always work for me. I know at times, I'm an emotionally complex person. But I also know and I've said it before, at times, I'm just a simple person. Simple in such a way that the slightest thing makes me smile, makes me touched, makes me feel loved, makes me feel important, makes me feel I'm the luckiest person in the whole world... When I like something, I don't give (it) up easily. Yes, there are some things (like songs) that I will get sick of and will let go eventually. There are people who walked away and I let them be because I didn't care. But some things and some people...well, they are just different. Is it true that things you get easily are not worth tre...

1) Busy Work. 1st day - 730pm 2nd day - 1020pm 3rd day - 8pm 4th day - 245pm The good old knock-off-at-6pm days are over. But so are the must-punch-card-by-845am days. Plus there's an "eye-candy" here ;) 2) Fat From Hong Kong: From Japan: **** And finally, some fridge magnets, "as promised" **** It's probably the work stress, irregular meals and lack of sleep. I have 2 huge pimples sitting prominently on my face! And to "pacify them", I bought myself 2 bags yesterday. As usual, I was shopping for A but ended up buying B. And since I haven't gotten A, I gotta search for it again and may very likely end up getting C. Then I have to try again at A and may end up with D, E, F..... Haha, there's always a reason to shop. Note to self: start saving for the Aussie, Europe & US air tickets.

And I left the office at about 1020pm. I spent 12hrs at work although half of the time I was just waiting, msning and surfing the net. I was right. Forget about meeting friends for dinner on weekdays. Forget about the home-cooked meals on most Mondays & Tuesdays. Maybe just forget about dinners totally. On another note, I think people who say they don't have time for relationships because they need to focus on their careers are just, I'm sorry, bullshitting. I think one of the most wonderful things is to know that someone is there for you at the end of your busy day. Oh well...